When do you know it’s time for a change? What does it take to feel that you have been going in the wrong direction? For G and I it was the gall bladder infection last September. After the initial horrible head- and tummy ache got better we were too weak to do much other than sleep, eat (very little and very limited food – sigh) and talk. And talk – we did! It seemed like we needed this (forced) break from our daily chores and worries with no other distraction (so to speak) to see this wasn’t the way we wanted to go. And then we set (or rather lay) down with a list of what we wanted to change.
The list wasn’t actually that pretty (and coffee was definitely not in the picture due to the gall bladder diet)… but it basically contained where we were now, where we wanted to be, and what we could do to get there. Some things (obviously) can’t be changed and we have to get used to accept them as best as we can.
At the top of the list was moving to a new place. It was a lovely house, but with the new Terminal opening we had planes up to every 90 seconds thundering over the house… not very relaxing. Plus, all the mould problems we had had last year were really not helping my health. We discovered lots more water damage than we anticipated while packing up and cleaning the house. In the last 6 weeks we couldn’t even drink the water from the pipes as it made me sick. Well you see the point. We packed up and moved.
The next thing on the list slowly grew out of living with CFIDS and moving further away from music than I ever liked. I wanted to do some more research about music and illness to give those musicians more credit who live and work with illness. I looked at several options and finally decided on one. I applied to go back to university and was offered a place for a PhD! (so proud!) I still can’t quite believe they offered me the place. My application form alone was more a 2kg pack than a form – but they did, and I will start in September.
Somehow this process prompted G to discover that she wasn’t finished with exploring music and cultural difference – so she applied to go back to university too – and last week was accepted and offered a place! She might blog about it once she’s gotten used to the new iPhone and the tooth ache/infections are gone.
We finally opened that shop on Etsy – getting all the official papers we needed (sometimes we can be very German). We haven’t sold much over it yet, but we didn’t have much time to take care of our little shop due to application forms. We hope we’ll be able to invest more time soon
We managed to re-connect to life, do more social things, introduce our cultural Saturdays – get back a life, rather than an existence.
There are still some things on the list we need to do, but so far, we’re doing quite well. It doesn’t feel like being stuck anymore. And despite everything I can feel the change move things – and it feels good!
PS On a personal note: this seems to be a perfect month to post about it since May is CFIDS month – we are having “our” day on the 12th. It’s time to celebrate life and change.